Test Week: Anxiety, Sacrifices and Weddings

The week of any test or race is supposed to be filled with lots of rest, recovery and sleep, three things I did not receive at all. My 8K TT was scheduled for Sunday and I was leaving for Chicago, to be in my best friends wedding, on Thursday night. So while I tried my best to get the rest, recovery and sleep I needed before the weekend rolled around, the uncontrollables in life took over and made this week high in anxiety and stress, however, as seen by my test results, I think its safe to say that even with the uncontrollables, I was still able to throw down a great run. 

This week was all about making sacrifices, ("an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important of worth"). This week's sacrifices were: 

1) Gave up my chance to swim in the gorgeous Northwestern University pool and dominate my 400 TT swim for the opportunity to have girl chat and cuddle time.

• I love my friends. I also love my sleep and my sport. But how often do I get to spend time with my friends who live hundreds of miles away from me? So although I was crabby because I was up so late, I welcomed the opportunity to talk with my friends, even if that meant I got 5 hours of sleep and no swim in a pretty and cold pool.

2) Gave up alcohol the weekend of my best friends wedding so that I could stay hydrated and attempt to keep HR down for my Test. 

Cutting of the cake 

• After seeing what happens to my HR after drinking alcohol, I opted to give up alcohol for the weekend for my race on Sunday. That meant I sacrificed toasting a beverage at my best friends wedding but left me drinking loads of water at the bar that night. 

3) Sleep. Coach probably hates me for this one because sleep is a principle that GRN MCHN athletes follow.

• I do everything in my power to get between 7.5-8.5 hours a night because with the amount of training I do, the nightly recovery is so important!! The first night I was in Chicago, I got 5 hours of sleep. The second night I got 6 hours, but thankfully on the night before my 8k I got 8, however, that's not the rest I needed going in this TT. 

So those are the sacrifices I've had to make this week, but what about the anxiety?

For those of you who don't know, I suffer from anxiety and unfortunately get anxiety attacks when my triggers make themselves known in my life. In the nine days leading up to my test, I had two anxiety attacks, something I rarely only ever have once every two months or so. When I have one of these attacks, it's debilitating and so emotionally and physically exhausting that I lose the much needed rest that comes with rest week. Thankfully I was able to take a personal day and make up for some of that much needed rest before heading to Chicago for the weekend. 

Shenanigans in the car before the wedding

Another aspect of the anxiety has been the elimination of all things lotion and body wash. As you are probably all well aware, I have tons of allergies, but all of which are food or medicine. The past two weeks, I have identified that I am allergic to something that I put on my skin whether be body wash or lotion. I have been reacting in forms of hives, so I have now eliminated all of it. 

So clearly the time leading up to my test was ROUGH! However, with the help of my sister-in-law, Cait, I was able to PR by 1 minute in my 8K. 

8K Test 

Opposed to starting the run in the morning, to simulate a typical race morning, I opted to sleep in and go to brunch with my family for my dad's birthday. I was scared to even eat at brunch because lately my stomach hasn't been agreeing with things I eat before runs, however, chowed down on half a salad and a full bag of pretzels. 
I did a solid 30-40 minutes of PT before going out and running. Cait and I ran out to the lake (a warmup of only 5 minutes) before starting the test. 

First Mile: 8:19 
Last test I took it out WAY too fast so I wanted to try and slow it down. I wouldn't of been able to on my own, but Cait kept telling met hat I was going faster than I thought and I had to slow down. I felt great, I could just go at that pace. 

Second Mile: 8:25
Still feeling great. Cait asked if I ever talk while I run. I laughed. No, when my HR at BSE, there is not a chance that I can talk. I can formulate words, but no sentences, so she did all the talking. Still feeling pretty good at this point. 

Third Mile: 8:33 
I knew I was slowing down because my Garmin bings every time I hit a mile, but I continued to push and get after all the people who were out running. I would pick a person out in the crowd ahead of me and tell myself to push until I got to that person, but once I got there, I would tell myself to push until the next person and so on. 

Fourth Mile: 8:47
All hell broke loose and my body hurt like hell. Dan tells me that if you don't hurt in an 8k, you're not doing it right, but this mile certainly proved that I was doing it right. It felt as though I had smashed into a brick wall and was failing to break through it. 

Fifth Mile: 8:24 
There was a blonde girl running probably 25 yards in front of me. I set my eyes on her. It was the last mile so I dug deep and I pushed through that brick wall and I caught that girl in the last 20 seconds of my run. 

Final Time: 42:38 
Overall, lightyears better than my last test and although I did't break the 8:00 barrier like in my last one, I can see tremendous progress and I can feel it, too! I paced it great, there were no dips in HR like last month and it was a well raced test. 

Final Thoughts:
My first race, although a sprint, is in less than a month and I am feeling pretty good! I'm feeling great about my run which I've never said before. I'll feel great about my swim once I can get myself into some open water and the bike will come with time. Dan continues to be really supportive and tough love like when I need him to be. Lately, it's been a lot of positive feedback, which honestly, I haven't been used to, but it motivates me to keep the great work up and strive to be better. 

I've finally reached build phase, and am already in shock with some of the workouts he has me doing but I know his methods will get me to good places, so keep on trusting, keep on believing and keep on pushing. I'm growing and loving the sport more and more everyday. 

This Week: Rollercoaster Ride

This week certainly came with it's own set of highs and low, just like my HR in my new set of HR zones for my runs. However, even with the highs and lows, some big progress in my training came, especially in my running.

Last week ended with this beauty coming in the mail. All American Aquabike. Although I was injured last season, I was still able to make the best of the situation and throw down great races every month. It taught me that I have the endurance, strength and mentality to push through all sorts of pain and accomplish great things. So I am very excited for this season and what lies ahead for my triathlon career.

Swimming
I reached a breaking point in my swimming this week, and not in a good way. When Dan went to look over my stats for the week, he saw what I had left him in my athlete notes. I was pissed and I was having very large doubts about whether my swimming was going to ever be good again. I have this bad habit of comparing myself with people, because a lot of times in my past I never felt that I was good enough and I would push harder to be better than my peers or my teammates. After my long pull set on Wednesday, I had a big wave of that again and compared myself to two extremely close people in my life. And I said "I suck at swimming."

I think everyone has stumbles and doubts in their training but it shows a lot about you in how you respond to those stumbles and I did not respond well. Dan responded in the way that he knows I will listen. Gotta love those tough love e-mails where I know he is probably as pissed as I am, but it got to me and I realized I need to do the same for swimming as I do for my bike and run: put my head down and just go. Really focus on what Dan wants me to accomplish during those sets and disregard my goals and my feelings. As Dan says, "Let me do the thinking."

My friend Aaron helps me a lot in all of my training, as well, even though he is in Boulder. I text him and rant all the time, and I am so thankful that I can do just that. He knows me really well and knows where my head is at in training and races and so he can link a situation back to something and have really good perspective on it. I told him what I had said about my swimming earlier this week and he provided some really great feedback regarding all of it.

I really am thankful for both of these men in my life -- my coach, Dan for yelling at me and making me see the big picture, and for Aaron who puts things into perspective and shares experiences. I'm sure that without either of them, I'd be a doubting, angry triathlete. No one wants that.

Biking

I can't tell you how excited I am for next block of cycling.  And you are probably all laughing at that comment, because that means I have PPT's, Tabatas and low cadence in Z2, but at least it's a bigger variety? Or maybe I'm excited and come the first week I'll regret that statement. Or maybe that it's just that I REALLY miss riding outside. I hate that its sunny and warm outside in the afternoons, but because of my chaotic schedule, I am riding indoors, on my trainer at 5:30am.

The trainer has certainly provided a good foundation, one that I am actually able to see, for my cycling and my HR. I am a lot more consistent on the bike with my HR than I was a few months ago, but I crave the opportunity to get back in the saddle on the road.

I think the biggest thing I miss though, is riding outside with Dan and the guys. That was my favorite part about my training last season. I was always the only girl but being the only girl pushed me to do better and push harder and keep up with all of them. I haven't had that opportunity yet, and I truly hope that I will be able to again soon.

Running 
I'm actually excited to run. Say what? Yes, I actually get excited to go run now because I am seeing that progress being made and not feeling the pain in my knee along with it. I started running hills this week which came with a lot of apprehension about my knee and my HR, but we saw HUGE progress along with it. And huge soreness in my calves. The below is a short run that I had during the week and didn't expect the large hill at the beginning but kept plodding along until I realized what I was doing was certainly not a plod, more a jog. Although still near the top of my Z1 (144) I was able to continue to desc my HR throughout the run.

Nutrition
I feel as though I am dying without sugar. When does this diet end? When I no longer ask that question...

I had a big hiccup in my diet regime, as pointed out by coach earlier this weekend. I love Larabars and I eat them all the time (because they are gf free and allergen free). I really like to eat them before and during rides but coach let me know earlier this weekend that that is BAD. Larabars pack a lot of fat which is bad during workouts and could be the cause of my GI problems on the run. So, I am saying goodbye to Larabars and am on the search for new quick and easy snacks for my workouts. And some of them may be the delicious looking recipes that Meghan keeps posting on Facebook!

Looking Onward
I'm feeling really great about my training and where I am at because I'm seeing progress and I'm one that needs to see to believe. Contrary to what coach believes, I trust his process more and more everyday, even when I do have doubts.

This week will hopefully provide some outdoor riding accompanied by being the only triathlete not running in the Monument 10k this Saturday. I'm gonna keep listening, keep eating good foods and keep pushing through!

Oh, and the countdown is on for my first half!!