Mental Toughness

Mental toughness is defined (through Wikipedia)  as a collection of attributes that allow a person to persevere through difficult circumstances (such as difficult training or difficult competitive situations in games) and emerge without losing confidence. 

Mental toughness is not a trait we are born with, it is an acquired trait. Athletes learn how to be mentally tough through everyday workouts and the big games, matches or races that we spend the whole season preparing for. Athletes expect to be challenged many times in their journey forward to reach their goal which is why mental toughness is vital in any athletes journey. The more you learn, the more mental toughness you gain. The more mental toughness you have, the better off you are when your A race comes around the corner. 

I've spent a lot of time researching mental toughness, as well as having personal experiences of the concept of mental toughness; after all, the title of my blog, is my mental toughness in a short phrase. So, what has my research and my personal experiences taught me about this oh so important trait that athletes continue to learn about? Well, I shall 
tell you. 

1. Physical Fitness 

For me, this is a no brainer. If I step foot into transition at 5:00a.m, having only trained 10 hours a week for 3 weeks prior to my biggest race of the season, I'm going to be an emotional wreck. I will have doubts and there will be nothing that I can do to change my outcome. Once I get doubts, there is not much I can do except pray. However, there is not much I can do if I am undertrained and underprepared. At this point, I am mentally weak. Thus, why I believe physical fitness is foremost trait in my mental toughness. I know this scenario will not happen because of my coach and my own stubbornness and willingness to compete and be a better athlete. Physical fitness and having a chance to challenge your body and mind before your A race is key to building that mental toughness. 

2. Self-Belief 
I can follow my workouts to a tee, I can put up solid outputs, great paces and zones, but if I don't believe in myself, then it's game over. When you have self-belief in yourself, you feel like you can do just about anything, that the sky's the limit. During these wonderful moments you don't fear the race. It's like the fear of losing is completely nonexistent when you're believing in yourself. Everyone falters in their own self-belief, but what makes you strong is believing you are worth it. (What are you worth? That's for you to figure out!) 

3. Positive Attitude 
You are not going to be able to do everything. By focusing on your strengths, your physical fitness, and your self-belief, you gain confidence and inspiration; you create your own positive attitude. 

4. Motivation 
Motivation can be strengthed many ways. Think of the last time you failed (in anything). That feeling can provide the motivation to keep going, keep pushing, keep practicing and keep making yourself better. Keep building that mental toughness. A time of success can also provide motivation to reclaim that winning feeling. For me, I'm motivated by many people and things. I'm motivated by my sister, Julie Patterson, who got me into the sport. I'm motivated by my coach, Dan Szajta, who continues to shine and grow in his own triathlon career. I'm motivated by the simplest of things. I'm motivated by continuously wanting to improve myself. I'm motivated by so many things (maybe that should be my next blog)! Motivation must come from within and the intensity of your motivation is determined by how badly you want to perform well. If you have motivation, you have mental toughness. 


5. Focus 
The ability to focus in the face of distractions or unexpected circumstances says a lot about your mental toughness. The mentally tough don't avoid situations, but instead, address them right away. For example, my first 40 miles of B2B. I was hurting real bad, the wind was nearly blowing me off the bike, my heart rate was through the roof and every time I saw an official, I thought about withdrawing from the race and taking the DNF. At mile 40, that was my time I had to hunker down and focus. I just kept reminding myself of the things that had gotten me to this point, the things on this list. I had to focus on my breaths. I had to focus on my legs and the pedaling. I had to focus on slowing my heart rate while still pounding my legs. Focusing on the things I could control got me to that finish line (and got me to negative split the back half of my bike). 

6. Resiliency 
The ability to bounce back from adversity, pain or a disappointing performance says a lot about mental toughness. The mentally tough can realize and admit a mistake, understand a missed opportunity, learn from it and move on to focus on a goal ahead. The mentally tough remain optimistic and have a positive attitude (#3) when something bad happens. For me, that something bad was my IT band injury. I realized and admitted that I pushed myself too hard, too fast, and got injured. Because of this, I missed out on my first season as an Olympic and half distance triathlete, but was an awesome Olympic and half distance aquabiker. With the help of my coach, I am learning from my actions of pushing too hard, and am in PT, focusing on cautiously entering the running world again in the new year. I am focusing on the two (or 3) half distance triathlons I will be competing in 2016. 

7. Open-Mindedness/Flexibility
Mentally tough people are flexible and are always adapting. The mentally tough are willing to listen and take feedback knowing that's where real changes take place. The mentally tough know that fear of change if paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. Only when the mentally tough embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you're going to recognize the opportunities that change creates. You're setting yourself us to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I accepted change earlier this year by accepting Dan to be my coach. His methods are the exact opposite of my previous training and that presented a scary thought to me. Frustrations and hostility are two words to describe the first two months. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, it was just my lack of open-mindedness and ability to accept change. My mind is now open and willing to accept change as I have seen the good that has come from my huge coach change.

So, mental toughness is not an innate trait. You have to want to be tough. You have to want it. Now, what you want can be totally different from the athlete next to you wants. A good friend of mine and new teammate, Meghan, is very mentally tough and I'm motivated by her. Having only started running a year ago, she has run two full marathons and has signed up for Ironman Lake Placid in 2016. Now, her goals and my goals are very different, but it doesn't make either of us any less of an athlete or have any less mental toughness than each other. So, how much mental toughness do you have?

Break-Ups vs. Hibernation

Most of us have been there at one time or another. You just got dumped. Moving on isn't always pretty. 

As I head into my third week of hibernation, I can't help but think that hibernation and break-ups are the same. After all, we are breaking up with everything athletic...

Stage 1: Sad 

Sometimes you can see a break-up coming and there is nothing you can do about it except wait for impact. That's how this hibernation came. I knew it was inevitable and no matter how much I put up a fight to try and stop it, there was nothing I could do. 

1. You go through your everyday routine, but realize something is missing: 

2. Your friends call to check up on you and you answer the phone from your built up pillow fort in bed like: 

3. Whenever anyone asks what your plans are for the night you're like: 

Stage 2: Bargaining 
In the first few days of the breakup, you bargain-- you try to win that person back. For me, I sent e-mails and texts to Dan, bargaining, telling him how much this sucks and how I don't want to do it. 

Stage 3: Anger 
Then comes anger. There is nothing you can do to change what has happened, so you get angry. You either curl up in bed, cry, and eat lots of ice cream AND/OR you get angry but every little thing around you. For me...both. 

1. You check Strava and see that all your non-hibernation friends are going on rides and runs, and you're like: 

 2. Day three, and you realize you still have 18 days left of this: 

Stage 4: Acceptance 
You know, some relationships aren't meant to last forever. Sometimes you need to grow, learn and heal before a new one begins. It may hurt, but in the end, it's probably for the best. 

Stage 5: Just kidding, I want to get back together! 
Yes, I may still have one week of hibernation left, but I am going to enjoy my 11 hours of sleep a night. I am going to enjoy my endless tub of ice cream. I am going to enjoy healing my body from last season and prepare for next season. And when that time comes, I will embrace triathlon with open arms! 

VMST Annual Swim Meet

I remember this meet last year. It was held at the NOVA pool and I went to cheer on my friends but ended up deck entering 6 events and bought goggles and a swimsuit 30 minutes before my first event. Last year was done in typical Margaret fashion of signing up last minute, this year I decided to be ahead of the game. When registration opened months ago, I signed up the first day. Now, last year was SCY and this year was SCM, something I haven't done in nearly 6 years, so I had no expectations of how I would do. That's the fun of masters swimming, though. It doesn't matter your age, where you are in life, your speed or ability. Masters swimming is go with the flow and do what you can and are able. 

Coming off of Halloween last week, this week was filled with a lot of sleep, two swim practices and three runs...I wasn't fully prepared, but it's masters. This morning I woke up and I felt awful, everything hurt. After nearly two hours in the car, I was in the pool doing an extended warmup:

900 easy loosen swim

6x75 K/D/S w/:15R 

6x50 Pace

12x25 12.5fast/12.5 easy

200 Float  

800 Free (Record: 12:38.85, Time: 10:16.34) 

Denise came up to me when warming up and told me the good news. "You'll break the record." How do you know I'll break it? "Because it's so slow." She was right, it was really slow and it hurt like hell, but I broke the record by a lot, as seen. When swimming I was remembering the last time I swam the 1000...my senior year of college. It was awful. I felt my breakfast coming up around the 700yard mark and immediately following finishing, I ran to the bathroom and up it came. Today, at the 600meter mark, I felt it, but kept it down. My back was cramping up from all the flip turns and my legs were cramping, but I still pulled out a good time...I think. Converted time to yards: 9:15.26 

50 Free (Record: 28.78, Time: 28.57) 

I looked at the program and saw I actually had competition for the 50. If you don't know age groups in swimming, there aren't many in the 18-24 age range, so this was exciting that I had a 23 year old with an entry time faster than mine.  What can I say about the 50? I had a good start, I had a solid flip. Out touched her, so a good finish. Converted time to yards: 25.73 

200 Free (Record from 1987: 2:21.12, Time: 2:20.69) 

Ever since high school this race has been such a mental game for me. I started with a 2:10, worked my way down to a 2:00.00 every race from senior of high school to halfway through senior year of college. At least I'm good at staying consistent. Senior year of college at conferences, I was able to break that awful 2 minute mark. I didn't just break it, I destroyed it by 4 seconds on my first try. That's what hard work, a good taper, and years of crying from seeing 2:00.00 can do to a swimmer....motivate someone so much to push through the worst pain they have ever felt to finish the race hard. So today, there was no music, there was no self-motivating pep talk, it was just me and the water. Last year when I swam this, I went a 2:12 SCY...let's talk about awful. Goal for today, beat that and beat the close record. Per usual, this race kicked my ass and hurt so bad. My legs were cramping, my arms were sore but I kept kicking and touched to an awful time, but a time good enough to beat the 1987 record by almost one second. Hey, I'll take it. Converted time to yards: 2:06.74 

400 Free (Record: 5:23.97, Time: 5:02.79)

After my 200, I floated down the cool down lane and assessed the pain. I was ready to scratch from the 400, call it a day and go home to bed. Then I remembered B2B and the first 40 miles. That awful pain, the temptation to DNF and just call it quits. I took a deep breath, figured I had a lot of time before it to continue cooling down and went for it. Denise told me it wouldn't be a problem to break the record, as my 400 split in the 800 was a 5:08. Okay, swimming the 400 free. Dove in and opposed to my typical 50 sprint in all races, I tried a more relaxed approach, all based on how awful I felt. I succeeded in having a slower first 200 than in my 800, which probably wasn't ideal. I saw Denise on the side jumping up and down and giving me signals to go faster. I didn't think I was going that slow, but when I touched the wall, I realized she has been trying to get me to break 5:00.00. If only I would've taken it out the speed of my 800, I would've had it. Nevertheless, broke the record by 21.18. Converted time to yards: 4:32.78 

Final Thoughts 

For someone who had no expectations or goals in mind going into this meet, I am very proud of myself. Sure, some of the times weren't great, but I am at the end of my season, my mind and body were both shot, but I am the new record holder of four events...two of which by huge margins. I'm proud of how the season wrapped up and am looking forward to hibernation. Ask me in four days if that is still true and I guarantee my answer will be different, but as of right now, I need sleep and recovery from what my body endured that past several months. I'm happy. I'm proud of what I've accomplished--highs and lows. I learned a lot. Everything from this season will help me to be better for next season. Now to bed I go! 

A Letter to My Coach

Dear Coach, 

I wanted to say thank you. I wanted to say thank you because a lot of times my gratitude for what you do is lost behind the bitterness of resting and hibernation, the exhaustion of your workouts and my own stubbornness. So, I'm thanking you although you've only been my coach for a few months. I'm sure that being my friend and training partner prepared you for what you were taking on when you kept hinting I should become your athlete...well, I at least hope it did! I wanted to say thank you for pushing me and giving me that tough love I need in order to get it through my stubborn head that you actually do know what is right for me. 

I've always been stubborn, hard headed and tend to over push myself. Since I was a competitive year round swimmer at age eight, I remember always striving to be better, to be the best I could be. Not to mention my two older siblings were incredible athletes, and still are! Being the youngest behind a D1 Water Polo All American athlete and a professional triathlete who was the only walk on to the UR XC team was a little intimidating, but it made me the athlete I am today. I strive to have fun, train hard and be competitive in all that I do and I continue to do all three of those in my athletic career now. I push hard because I want to be the best I can be, and I'm learning, from you, that pushing too hard can be detrimental to my health and cause injuries (as we have seen this season). But it's hard. I'm not scared to admit that. Training and competing has been my life for such a long time that when I take breaks, I get lost in who I am, what I'm supposed to do and I can't sleep. 

I think the biggest definer of who I am as a person is being a Christian athlete. Those two words, together or alone, define me to a huge extent. For you though, I am going to focus on the word athlete. As said before I push hard and I'm stubborn, but I see it as being determined and having passion for everything I do. I wouldn't have made it through 4 years of high school swimming and 4 years of collegiate swimming if I didn't have the passion for the sport. I was determined, and so I would be peppy and awake for 5:30am practice, I'd put in extra work and although I was a middle distance swimmer, I knew I needed the endurance so I'd swim with the distance swimmers most days of the week. I fought my coach for what I thought and knew I needed and he'd push back. It was a push and pull relationship but with figuring it out my senior year, I was able to have the best performances of my life. When my college career ended, I knew swimming would continue with me, however, I needed a new challenge to put my efforts towards and having only competed in 6 sprint triathlons I thought I'd give it a go, again. 

Now my cycling career certainly wasn't great like my swimming career. I hated being on a bike when I was younger and my parents would have to bribe me with mini marshmallows to keep riding when we went on family rides. By being inspired by my sister, I finally bought a road bike and began going on long rides with my dad on the weekends and as many rides as I could fit in during the days while in high school and college. My dad and I would always ride hills, we'd seek them out in the flat land of Ohio, and we'd ride, I grew to love them and am pretty awesome at them. Cycling came easy but since the purchase of Zeke Jr. and training with you, I'm 2mph faster on the bike...which brings me to the next thing you're teaching me. 

I've always been a numbers and speed kind of gal. I want to run consistent mile paces, I want to bike consistent speeds, and I know I can swim a consistent time in any sort of distance, but you are all about heart rate. You get angry or annoyed when I submit a workout where my heart rate is two zones above what it needs to be. For someone who has never trained in her life with a heart rate monitor until I started training with you, I'm frustrated and am trying! Give me time, I'll figure it out, I always do! But I would love for you to come plod next to me, teach me how slow you want me to go! 

Thank you for always responding quickly to my athlete notes, whether be me ranting about something, me being sassy with you, or my knowledge that I didn't do the workout right (or when I did do it right!), you always say something. 

Thank you for always getting me pumped up and calming my nerves for races. I think being a friend helps in that arena, as well, but this season has been rocky but you know exactly what to say to get me pumped and calm me down. You know I overthink things, and you do awesome in making it simple. 

Thank you for giving me tough love but finding the supportive balance. Thank you for telling me you're proud of me and giving me a hug after a race, fist bumping or high-fiving me after a long ride. Although I need to be pushed, I also need support, and you provide that. 

Thank you for only making fun of me a little bit when I have hundreds of stupid questions, that I should probably know the answer to, regarding triathlon. 

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my training partner and letting me come on rides with all the guys, makes me feel like a stud(ette) and pushes me in a great way. 

Thank you for putting up with me. I haven't made it easy on you the last two months, but I wanted to make sure you had the best interest for me and my triathlon career. I have now learned that you do. 

So, thank you Dan, for pestering me for the last several months to have you be my coach. I'm glad I chose you, because I need someone who knows me and can put up with my little bit of crazy, and you certainly do.