A Letter to My Coach (Part 2)

Dear Coach,

I've been wanting to write this for awhile now, and I just didn't know how to phrase the things I wanted to say. Like my last post to you, I wanted to say thank you. I wanted to say thank you because a lot of times my gratitude for what you do for me is lost behind my stubbornness, my injuries and my exhaustion for workouts. This time around though I wanted to thank you for being patient as I adapt to new workout structure, new HR zones and a new form of trust.

I think in order for a relationship to work you have to have immense trust and great communication with that person. The same goes for being in a coach and athlete scenario. First off, the athlete has to trust the process. As you have heard and read, this has been hard for me. Trusting the process which is totally different than the process I had been training on for a year, is hard and frustrating. I didn't understand why you wanted me to run so slowly that I could walk faster. I didn't understand why I couldn't ride side by side with you on a long ride. I didn't understand a lot of things and for that reason, I was really unhappy. But, like a great coach, you began the process of teaching me the methods you believe and coach by, making it easier for me to understand the concepts behind slow running and not riding with the best training partner I've had (I'm still not exactly pleased about that). For you, it's about the HR and the effort you are putting in, not about the pace, and I've learned that if I stick with the HR, the speed will come. So, thank you for communicating with me about the process and keeping me accountable through it, even when I have ridiculous off the chart workouts...

The second part about trust is trusting your coach to know what is best for the athlete both in training and in how your body works. (For everyone who is reading this, you need to know what a phenomenal job Dan does of this). Back in the first month of us working together you pushed me and pushed me to go see Lori Strobl and get my knee fixed. You raved and raved about how spectacular she was and how I needed to go. So I went, and now, months later, I am running free of pain. When I had Achilles pain, you stopped me and we worked out what the pain could be and now I am pain free. Most recently, I had my wisdom teeth out and I have spent four days, as of right now, without anything training wise and you tell me we need to focus on me eating my regular diet and getting full mobility of my jaw back (because I can't open my mouth fully), before I started training anymore. Do I like this response, after I have been cooped up and snowed in to my house for the past four days? Hell no. However, you have yet to lead me astray in my world of injuries. Even though my mouth has nothing to do with workouts, it is still leaving my body in a compromised state and as I know from you, my health is my #1 priority So, I am listening to you and going to focus on my swollen cheek and stiff jaw (but I will still call my Dentist tomorrow morning).

Another part of this trust is sticking to the plan. As you know sometimes I "disregard" the workouts you have written for me, not because I don't feel like doing them, but because...I don't know. Honestly, I don't know the answer to that. In the pool I do it because I want to keep up and my swimmer mentality has trained me that if I do poorly in practice, I'll get bumped from that relay (which happened on a National qualifying relay). I push hard in swimming because that's what I know. In biking and running its gotten better. You've drilled it through my head enough times to know that I need to and when I see my heart rate spike in the slightest amount of see my cadence as being really slow, I'm scared I'm going to disappoint you. And, there is one thing I hate more than disappointing myself, and it's disappointing others.

So, Dan thank you. Thank you for being patient and for teaching me and for sending me those tough love e-mails and texts that scare me into doing what you have written. I'm seeing progress and improvement, although small. I now trust you and your process completely in my triathlon journey. That doesn't mean I'll stop asking you dumb questions, but it means I'll be less stubborn and less hard-headed. I'll put in the work because I know you've got my back.

I will say the one thing I hope we can communicate about my goals and how I truly am going to get down to running 8:00 miles or so. I want to talk to you about my fears and concerns because once you hear them I think you'll have a better understanding of why I push and have that competitiveness.

Thank you for continuing to put up with me and push me and motivate me. You as a coach and athlete inspire me to do great things in my triathlon career.

Thanks, coach!

Base-Recovery Week

I must say by the time base-recovery phase comes around I am loving it. I don't see how much training takes a toll on me until I get a rest day where I go to sleep at 8pm and sleep twelve hours. It's kind of magical how my legs come back and I don't feel so sluggish. This week only consisted of three workouts- Strength and Swim and a Z1 Short Run. Why not many workouts, you ask? Because I got my wisdom teeth taken out, of course!

However, I made a breakthrough with my runs last week (which I didn't post about), that I am very excited for. HR training is challenging and it has been very difficult and frustrating for me to learn, however with my first ever run above one hour last week taught me that I am headed towards the right direction, although still running very slowly.

Dan has been trying to teach me that you have to have this gradual rise in your heart rate opposed to being all over the place (which I had been). Below is of a run I did a month ago. My HR, as seem is all over the place, going up and down all the time.

This run below is my run from Sunday, my most successful HR progression to date. The two large spikes being my 30 second pick ups, which you see I maintained well after. I am learning and I am seeing the process. My biggest question is that of how do I negative split my runs like Meghan and Dan do, and also how do I go from running this slow to running fast, but that is all part of trusting the process even more. 

Wisdom Teeth Removal: 
Over the past couple of months I have had this horrible sensation that my wisdom teeth were coming through, and lone and behold, my top left tooth began breaking it's way through the gum, causing me much pain. I now understand why babies cry when they are teething...it hurts! I went to the dentist for a consultation a few weeks ago and we decided I was going to get it removed. Removal date: January 21, 2016--Base-Recovery Week. Perfect!


I wish I could tell you more about my surgery, but I remember taking my drugs before surgery, sitting down and getting a mask and being told to breathe, then sitting on my couch back at home. My roommate, Emily, says I was talking a lot in the car and was very excited about how many texts and phone calls I received, none of which I remember reading or texting back.

However, having a med student for a roommate is wonderful. She continues to take care of me and tell me when I can take the drugs, continue icing and to swish salt water...and tells me that I can't do anything active, which in turn is kind of great because we have about a foot of snow that needs shoveled and I have been exempted from it, but also means that I can't do workouts or my time trial tomorrow.


Pain Med Nightmares:
I give it the pain meds for these insane and very vivid dreams that I am having at night. Last night, was my first triathlon related nightmare. I was running a full distance ironman and the transition area was a nightmare...more like a maze. All my friends and teammates were finding the exit but I couldn't find my way out. I was stuck and I panicked. I think this dream might have something to do with the fact I am not allowed to work out until I am healed from this surgery. I have been wearing the same clothes since the snow started, and have been on the couch and on my bed the whole time. I am going stir crazy and the thought that everyone else is training while I am not is making my mind think I am going to be behind. But of course, like a good coach, Dan tells me "You're consistent enough. You'll be absolutely fine. Last thing you need is dry sockets."

Training will continue again after I am 'healed,' so once my chipmunk cheek is less swollen and I am able to dig my car out of the snow drift that is currently under, I will be back and working hard. For now, recovery shall continue.

Celiac Disease: 1 Year Later (And How I Still Fuel my Sport)

Excerpt from My Messy Masterpiece, Dated February 9, 2015:

“Remember that time when I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease? (After 5 previous food allergies diagnoses)…So you can see my life has been crazy. Reading labels, convincing myself that I am doing this because I’m healthy, and I was! I joked around with my sister that by the time I was thirty, I would be allergic to every preservative, forcing me to eat totally organic and unprocessed food…I had never thought about what allergy might come next…but it did. For four months I was sick. I was tired, my skin itched and itched and I would scratch until skin came off, I had night sweats, I couldn’t sleep at night, my body ached all the time. It may sound ridiculous, but I thought I had cancer. I went to the doctor and they ran every lab they could think of…Two weeks later I got a phone call. I was devastated. I had celiac disease. How am I supposed to eat no grains with five other preservative allergies? I still can’t tell you the answer.”

Today, January 12, 2016, marks the one year anniversary of my diagnosis of having Celiac Disease, something that shook my world and made my rethink if I could be an athlete based on my nutrition options. I must say that the first few months certainly weren’t easy. I lost a record breaking twelve pounds which I didn’t have to lose in the first place. I skipped meals because most times I just didn’t know what I could eat or was scared to try something new. This was no life for anyone, especially an athlete who was still working out twenty hours a week. I became tired from not fueling myself properly and became very self conscious about my body weight, so I sought out my best friend, also a Celiac friend, and recruited her help in introducing me to the ways of the gluten free lifestyle. Having her and her mother, a Trader Joe’s employee, were my saving graces in my first few months of this lifestyle. I learned the best (and worst) kinds of bread out there, how I cannot eat anything even processed in a wheat factory, how much I love polenta, how Joe-Joes actually resemble something close to an Oreo and how I can still be an endurance athlete while having tremendous misfortune in the nutrition department.

Years ago, there were not nearly as many options as there are today, so my friend grew to only like one or two things, where as me, I got to try a variety of breads and pastas to determine what I like the best. Having been a swimmer my whole life, I was well acquainted with the high protein and high carb diet. My first choice of breakfast was toast. My first choice of lunch was a sandwich on delicious homemade bread, and my choice of dinner was pasta and meatballs with a side of my best friend Claire’s homemade French bread. I ate gluten all the time and I don’t think I realized that until it was taken away from me. So, I had to learn that my first choice of breakfast was eggs and protein smoothie, for lunch I had deconstructed tuna salad or ham sandwich without the bread with a side of fruit, and for dinner I had a large portion of protein with copious amounts of rice and vegetables. That lifestyle got old as that was the only thing I ever ate, so I knew I had to reach out and look for how I could continue to live the high protein and high carb diet.

Don’t get your hopes up, I’m still looking. I can nail the high protein one to a tee, but the high carb is something I still struggle with simply because it is so pricey. Gluten free lifestyles are so expensive, especially for the young working professional with not large amounts of money. So, rice is my solution. Lots and lots of rice. I buy gluten free bread about once a month and love it when my parents buy me gluten free pasta or quinoa because that stuff is upwards to $5 a box.

I’m not going to lie and say that my life as a gluten free athlete is 100% solved, but it is so much better than before. I have a healthy community of those who continue to help me through the uncertainties and the recipe trying, I have a better understanding of what I need to look for in labels when it is unclear whether it says gluten free or not and I have gained ten of those twelve pounds back. I don’t complete workouts if I know I don’t have sufficient nutrition in my body and sometimes I will be five minutes late to work if it means I have to cook one more egg so that I can get my calories back in. I will say the greatest resource to me thus far has been the wondrous world of Pinterest. From a procrastination tool, and a way to plan my future life, to a resource I rely on thoroughly, it has provided numerous amounts of recipes and education for a newbie, like me, to Celiac Disease.

So what does the lifestyle of an endurance triathlete with six food allergies look like (I only chose my favorites, this is not the whole list):

Breakfasts:

Cheesy Sausage Quiche

Oatmeal Muffins 

Ham Cheese and Quinoa Cups

Cheesy Breakfast Casserole

Famous Banana Bites that have swept the triathlon world (My own creation)

 

Snacks:

Banana Bites

LaraBars

Easy Potato Skins

 

Lunch:

Leftovers from Dinner

Made Ahead Chicken, Potatoes and Veggies

Quinoa Veggie “Fried Rice”

Spaghetti Squash with Bacon, Spinach and Goat Cheese

 

Dinner:

Honey Terriyaki Chicken

Melt in Your Mouth Pot Roast

Cilantro Chicken Burrito Bowl

Chicken Tortilla Soup

 

Training Nutrition:

Infinit Salted Caramel No Protein Added Formula

 

So one year later I’m healthier when dealing with this diagnosis, but I’m not perfect. I still seek out nutrition products and recipes that can fuel what I do both before, during and after. I’m always up for breaking the stereotype of gluten free products only ever tasting like cardboard. I didn’t choose this lifestyle, so I should be able to at least choose what I am eating and make sure that it’s delicious and can keep up with my training.  

Goals of the Season

I've never been open about sharing my goals; I think it's about fear of letting others down if I make it public. If it's just me or me and my coach knowing, it's less people. However, there are bonuses to people knowing, such as accountability and encouragement. So, I'm going to do something a little different and share my goals with you.

1. Get Healthy
This may seem vague, but I have two subsections to this one.
      a) Knee and Achilles- I'm still diligent about my Physical Therapy and working with Lori and Dan. I'm seeing definite improvements but I want to be healthy and have a great season that involves me running.
      b) Nutrition has always been hard and it's getting more challenging with the more things I'm allergic to. Eating proper foods to fuel my sport is hard by having so many allergies makes it that much more challenging. I frequently find myself underweight and having to eat A LOT to bump myself up. My goal is to remain a healthy weight by eating healthy, nutritious and good food for the amount of working out I do.

2. Run a 10K Without Stopping 
This may seem small, but I have never done this...and I'm going for a 70.3 (or 3). This past season was supposed to be my season where I competed in my first ever Olympic distance triathlon. It was my first Olympic distance aqua bike, so that leaves me still with never having run a 10k. It's the small things.

3. Run faster than a 1:50 half marathon 
This is an 8:20 pace or faster. This is hard to to figure out whether it's obtainable or not because of where I am in running, but I was taught to reach high for your dreams even if it takes years.

4. Sub 2:38 Bike Split for 56 Miles
At Timberman this past season, I rode a low 2:50, so on the right course, I should be able to do this.

5. Work on My Stubbornness and Trust the Process
Dan has Kona under his belt--what do I have to prove? He clearly knows what he is talking about --trust him and don't be so defensive or fail to accept the changes he makes in my plan. I've been stubborn my whole life, it's a gene that I definitely got from my grandfather. It's not something I'm proud of and something I continue to struggle with and learn from. I'm stubborn and get defensive when my views on how I currently do something needs to be altered. However, I just had a breakthrough in my running and truly feel that I'm getting there and it's because I'm trusting the process.

Summary
Now, I'm telling you these not because I want you tracking and analyzing my races, but because I want you to know that these are my goals. I won't try extra hard to make these happen, especially when my training isn't about times and paces, more about heart rate. Dan tells me they will come with time. My goals are directly related to me trusting the process. Trust the process and put in the work and success and goals will come. For the ones I can control, I need to be more confident in my coach and trust him that he won't lead me astray. When this happens, there will be less stubbornness and more success.