I completed base training block #1 with a 5K HR Test. The week leading up to it, Dan and I were discussing whether or not my fragile and delicate legs (my injury) would be able to withstand that kind of running, and although I agreed to it, I was terrified. Yes, I had been putting a lot of time and effort into my physical therapy, but it doesn't mean I'm totally confident that it will hold. During my Christmas holiday I was doing PT and yoga nearly twice a day, also praying that my knee would hold out.
Come Sunday morning, I was up at 6:45, although we weren't running until 8am. I did some PT and stretches, drank half a bottle of Salted Caramel Infinit, ate some gluten free pretzels and two clementines. I had no idea what to eat before running because in the two weeks leading up to it, I hadn't identified anything that was compatible with my GI tract.
At 8am, Julie and I left my parents house and began my ZR plod warmup. If you don't know what a plod is, it's the speed of a walk but you look like you are running. Julie walked beside me because she hadn't left her pride at the door. We got to the service road where we were going to start our run and I did a few 100meter strides to get warmed up, then we were off.
Julie held my watch the whole time and didn't tell me anything about my pace or my HR, but I was able to hear the bing of my Garmin, alerting me to when I reached new mile markers.
Mile 1: 7:50, Average HR: 178
Julie kept telling me to slow down. It'd been the first time I ran that fast and smooth since before my injury and it felt good, even though Julie kept telling me to slow down. I then found out my first quarter of a mile was about a 6:00/mile pace. It was great having Julie run beside me, to hold my watch and keep me motivated. If I was the one holding my watch, my eyes would be on it non-stop and that wouldn't have ended well. I heard the noise of my Garmin, notifying me it had been one mile, well 2.1 to go!
Mile 2: 8:52, Average HR: 187
Well, I'd describe that second mile as the third 50 of a 200 freestyle. You're just thinking "when is this going to be done?" Then I thought, shoot, I would still have 12 miles at this point left in my race, glad it's several months away. Julie kept telling me that my heart rate was good and my goal time was still going to be shattered. I remember asking Julie what pace this would be for her, when she would ever run whatever pace I was holding. She told me, super easy run on a 100 degree day. Awesome, thanks Julie.
Mile 3: 9:13, Average HR: 190
As seen by my pacing, I lack in that department, but it wasn't about my pacing, it was about my HR. It hurt like hell, that last mile. Julie was singing to me, and saying motivational things to me, and yelling at me when my HR dropped. I don't think I could've done that last mile without her. At about the 20:00 mark, my knee started getting uncomfortable but Julie told me to focus on other things, like running hard between the telephone poles and focusing on my breathing. However, we rounded the bend and I heard her say something about when we get to the tennis courts we're in the home stretch. I kicked hard because I thought when I reached the tennis courts I'd be done, I was wrong. So I exerted all my remaining energy, and Julie let me know I still had half a mile left. She told me to count down from 20 and when I got to 0, count again and she would tell me how many more times I needed to say that. After about 5 times of counting backwards, she told me to sprint to the light pole. I sprinted, she lied and said the next one, I sprinted, she lied and said the next one and finally I was done.
Total Time: 26:42, Average HR: 186
https://connect.garmin.com/modern/activity/993845240
I learned a lot about myself during this 5K. Yes, it was ugly but it was my first hard effort in nearly nine months. It was the first time that I felt like I could do a half marathon, even though I died after 3.1 miles. I tried to cool down and I couldn't, so I just walked home and walked the dog around the block. Good things that came from it was the confidence of my knee, defined run zones, hope that I can get back to running and motivation to continue trusting the process that Dan creates.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Sunday, December 20, 2015
From "Swimmer" to "Triathlete"
I have defined myself as a swimmer since I was six; and it was then when I began swimming competitively year round. I have qualified for Junior Olympics, swam in the Ohio State Championships three years in a row in high school, was a four year letter winner in both high school and college, qualified for nationals on a relay, broke four masters records at a meet this year, and still continue my journey in masters swimming. The thing about my swimming career though, which frustrated every single one of my coaches was that I was/am a practice swimmer. For those of you who don't know what that is; it's a swimmer who pulls all their best times in practice and when competition comes, I couldn't pull those times. It wasn't for lack of competitiveness, it was mental, I think, but I couldn't get around it. Test sets were where I shined, whether be 6x100s on 10:00 off the block, broken 200s off the block or holding your best average on 500s, I was your girl to pull out spectacular times, and times that were 90% faster than my meet times. Not only am I a practice swimmer, I am also the most consistent swimmer. If you need someone to swim a 2:00.00 in the 200 free, I'm your girl. If you need someone to hold 1:08s for a mile, I'm your girl. I'd pull the same times over and over again, guess it's better than someone who fluctuates with times so much. Starts are my thing and turns are my weakness, I prefer endurance workouts than speed workouts and the way I feel in the water is like no other. I could have had the worst day possible and the instant I get into the pool, everything gets better and I instantly feel at home.
The hard thing for me becomes the moment when you realize your goals and who you define yourself as are two different things. I'm a swimmer and this season I was an aquabiker, but when I introduced myself to people I said I was a triathlete, but a swimmer first. Always a swimmer first. My past as a "swimmer" will always still be there, and my swimming ability won't go away, it will make me stand out as I progress into the new goals in my athletic career, which requires me to define myself as a triathlete.
Most triathletes weakest sport is the swim, that's where I take control and start the race off strong. However, the swim portion of the triathlon sets the stage for the rest of the race. If you go out too strong, you risk "blowing up" in the bike or run, but if you go out too slow, you risk not being able to come back. Dr. Amanda Stevens is a very successful and well decorated triathlete. For her, the swim is easy, she has a background in swimming. She mentions what swimmers bring to the sport of triathlon and states, "Luckily for us swimmers, from a technical standpoint, swimming is the hardest of the three sports to learn," Stevens said. "Swimmers develop so many success skills growing up in the pool: hard work, dedication, passion, desire for success, competitiveness, goal-setting, time management and self-discipline."
I think swimming is one of the sports that requires the most commitment and insanity. It's one of the sports that provides the most skills, such as Dr. Stevens stated, but triathlon is similar in that realm. You work as hard as a swimmer, but instead of having just the swim, dryland and weight training, you have the swim, the bike, the run, the rehab, the stretching, and the weight training. You get up before the crack of dawn, just like a swimmer, and you practice then go to work, then you come home and you train more. It takes the commitment and insanity that I've had in my life since I was six. Although I'm moving on from the title of swimmer, I'm still holding on to all the other things that make up a swimmer. I am still apart of a team, I still have a coach, I still workout many hours a week, I still challenge my body and my mind, and I am still a competitive, dedicated, passionate, hardworking, goal-setting athlete who desires success and improvement, what more could you ask for?
Maybe it's a good thing, because if you caught it above, I like starts, not turns and I like endurance, not sprints. I dislike the two things that aren't present in triathlons. Open water was something I was terrified of, now it's something I love; although I still freak out when I can see the bottom, and freak out when I can't see the bottom. Open water offers the endurance swimmer, like me, to eliminate the one thing that brought her down in races....the turn. With the elimination of flip turns, I can swim, keep swimming, and keep going with knowing I'm not losing to the person next to me because my turns suck, I'm losing to them because they're better than me.
I will always be a swimmer. But I will be a triathlete who defined herself as a swimmer because of her successful career in the pool. I will still buy swimsuits and goggles and love watching the PanAms, Duel in the Pool and the summer olympics because I still love the pool. I am a triathlete and I have my own goals which may, or may not, involve being a force to be reckoned with in the water, all the while being able to control that so I can be a force to be reckoned with on the bike and run.
I am a triathlete.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Patience
When I think patience, I think of the kids who I teach who test me. I think of the kids, in and out of the pool, who bring a huge smile to my face for learning and doing better. I think of the amount of patience I must have to continue to teach the little ones, after nearly ten years, how to swim even though it's hard. Now, this patience, doesn't carry over to every aspect of my life and I'm not afraid to admit that. It's something I continue to grow and be challenged with but everyone has struggles.
Although I have been a competitive swimmer my whole life, patience isn't something that came easily in my career. For example, the 200 freestyle. I began swimming this event my sophomore year of high school and the first time I ever swam it was a 2:10. Pretty bad, but within that year, I made my way to a 2:00:00. Junior year of high school: 2:00:00. Senior year of high school: 2:00:00. Freshman thru half of senior year: 2:00:00. Now, when I continuously saw those numbers up on the scoreboard, I was frustrated beyond belief. I was training harder, stronger, faster, further than I had ever done in the past and I couldn't break that barrier. I became everything but patient. I was agitated that no matter how much work I put in, I couldn't break it. I was frustrated that my body couldn't bring home that last 50. I was unwilling to think of the race in any other way than what I had in the past. And what do all of these things cultivate? Impatience. The frustration, the agitation, the unwillingness led to tears after tears of disappointment when I touched the wall, looked up and saw another stupid 2 followed by four zeros.
Could I have really been that unlucky, or did I just lack the patience of the sport to develop into the swimmer my coach always knew I could be? Maybe it was a little of both, but when conferences came around, my coach put me as the anchor on the 800 free relay. I'd never been the anchor, because the anchor is for your best swimmer. The swimmer who can bring victory home. I was always number two or number three...the weakest of the relay but still a solid swimmer. Knowing that my coach, and me team believed in me, believed that I could bring a W home for the team was the biggest confidence booster ever. It made me realize that this race had become such a mental game. I lacked the patience to grow and alter my mind into believing I could break that barrier. Instead, I believed I was a 2:00:00 swimmer. I stepped up on the block and knew I had a three second lead over our rivals, the sure winner of conferences that year and I thought about my journey in this event. Patience. Having patience both mentally and physically will lead to success. I not only dropped five seconds in that race, I also touched out the swimmer next to me, giving us our first win of conferences, and leading to our tenth consecutive MIAA Conference Championship win.
The 200 free remains a great example in my life of how I have to trust the process and have patience that things will improve and be great. Which makes this next part quite ironic. I don't know how Dan puts up with me sometimes, but I am so thankful he does. That man must have patience built up like titanium because I challenge him and I put up a fight and I don't have patience in seeing the end product which he is all about. I'm part self taught, part coached and part observed from my sister in the world of triathlon. I haven't ever had the 100% guidance of a coach and people don't realize that.
A lot of people think I have been in the sport for a long time. The truth: I've been around the sport for a long time. This season was supposed to be my FIRST EVER Olympic distance triathlon. Heck, it was going to be my first ever over sprint distance triathlon. I've been a swimmer my whole life, I went on endurance rides with my dad during the weekends and I barely made it through running. I coached my sister through transitions, panicked in open water and dreaded the run. I've seen so many races and having seen that has amplified my want and my drive to be a triathlete. I'm driven and I'm a competitor and I want to be be great, which tests my patience.
Dan asks me to leave my pride at the door before I go out and do workouts. I'm used to running 7:15-8:00 minute/mile and used to riding 18-21mph, but Dan's process isn't about those numbers. It's about the numbers of your heart and creating those zones and following them to a T. It's so so so hard to slow down and run so much slower than I would like but Dan knows his stuff. I wasn't very good at slow running and Dan let me know in a way that made me understand it real quick and I'm trying very hard now. It's hard to switch from one view to a totally different view of how to train but I know that I have to trust the process and have patience in getting better. Coming off an injury and a great aqua bike season are two conflicting things. I want to train hard to be better than I was this season, but I can't push too hard to re-injure myself. Patience, Margaret, things will pick up and get better. When when you're training 27 hours a week, you may wish you were in this stage again.
Dan tells me leave my pride, trust the process, do the workouts and you'll see results. It's all about having patience. I'm optimistic that my patience will grow and I'll see those results this season. As the words of Dan: "A little less, Giddy Up!"
Although I have been a competitive swimmer my whole life, patience isn't something that came easily in my career. For example, the 200 freestyle. I began swimming this event my sophomore year of high school and the first time I ever swam it was a 2:10. Pretty bad, but within that year, I made my way to a 2:00:00. Junior year of high school: 2:00:00. Senior year of high school: 2:00:00. Freshman thru half of senior year: 2:00:00. Now, when I continuously saw those numbers up on the scoreboard, I was frustrated beyond belief. I was training harder, stronger, faster, further than I had ever done in the past and I couldn't break that barrier. I became everything but patient. I was agitated that no matter how much work I put in, I couldn't break it. I was frustrated that my body couldn't bring home that last 50. I was unwilling to think of the race in any other way than what I had in the past. And what do all of these things cultivate? Impatience. The frustration, the agitation, the unwillingness led to tears after tears of disappointment when I touched the wall, looked up and saw another stupid 2 followed by four zeros.
Could I have really been that unlucky, or did I just lack the patience of the sport to develop into the swimmer my coach always knew I could be? Maybe it was a little of both, but when conferences came around, my coach put me as the anchor on the 800 free relay. I'd never been the anchor, because the anchor is for your best swimmer. The swimmer who can bring victory home. I was always number two or number three...the weakest of the relay but still a solid swimmer. Knowing that my coach, and me team believed in me, believed that I could bring a W home for the team was the biggest confidence booster ever. It made me realize that this race had become such a mental game. I lacked the patience to grow and alter my mind into believing I could break that barrier. Instead, I believed I was a 2:00:00 swimmer. I stepped up on the block and knew I had a three second lead over our rivals, the sure winner of conferences that year and I thought about my journey in this event. Patience. Having patience both mentally and physically will lead to success. I not only dropped five seconds in that race, I also touched out the swimmer next to me, giving us our first win of conferences, and leading to our tenth consecutive MIAA Conference Championship win.
The 200 free remains a great example in my life of how I have to trust the process and have patience that things will improve and be great. Which makes this next part quite ironic. I don't know how Dan puts up with me sometimes, but I am so thankful he does. That man must have patience built up like titanium because I challenge him and I put up a fight and I don't have patience in seeing the end product which he is all about. I'm part self taught, part coached and part observed from my sister in the world of triathlon. I haven't ever had the 100% guidance of a coach and people don't realize that.
A lot of people think I have been in the sport for a long time. The truth: I've been around the sport for a long time. This season was supposed to be my FIRST EVER Olympic distance triathlon. Heck, it was going to be my first ever over sprint distance triathlon. I've been a swimmer my whole life, I went on endurance rides with my dad during the weekends and I barely made it through running. I coached my sister through transitions, panicked in open water and dreaded the run. I've seen so many races and having seen that has amplified my want and my drive to be a triathlete. I'm driven and I'm a competitor and I want to be be great, which tests my patience.
Dan asks me to leave my pride at the door before I go out and do workouts. I'm used to running 7:15-8:00 minute/mile and used to riding 18-21mph, but Dan's process isn't about those numbers. It's about the numbers of your heart and creating those zones and following them to a T. It's so so so hard to slow down and run so much slower than I would like but Dan knows his stuff. I wasn't very good at slow running and Dan let me know in a way that made me understand it real quick and I'm trying very hard now. It's hard to switch from one view to a totally different view of how to train but I know that I have to trust the process and have patience in getting better. Coming off an injury and a great aqua bike season are two conflicting things. I want to train hard to be better than I was this season, but I can't push too hard to re-injure myself. Patience, Margaret, things will pick up and get better. When when you're training 27 hours a week, you may wish you were in this stage again.Dan tells me leave my pride, trust the process, do the workouts and you'll see results. It's all about having patience. I'm optimistic that my patience will grow and I'll see those results this season. As the words of Dan: "A little less, Giddy Up!"
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Mental Toughness
Mental toughness is defined (through Wikipedia) as a collection of attributes that allow a person to persevere through difficult circumstances (such as difficult training or difficult competitive situations in games) and emerge without losing confidence.
Mental toughness is not a trait we are born with, it is an acquired trait. Athletes learn how to be mentally tough through everyday workouts and the big games, matches or races that we spend the whole season preparing for. Athletes expect to be challenged many times in their journey forward to reach their goal which is why mental toughness is vital in any athletes journey. The more you learn, the more mental toughness you gain. The more mental toughness you have, the better off you are when your A race comes around the corner.
I've spent a lot of time researching mental toughness, as well as having personal experiences of the concept of mental toughness; after all, the title of my blog, is my mental toughness in a short phrase. So, what has my research and my personal experiences taught me about this oh so important trait that athletes continue to learn about? Well, I shall
tell you.
1. Physical Fitness
2. Self-Belief
I can follow my workouts to a tee, I can put up solid outputs, great paces and zones, but if I don't believe in myself, then it's game over. When you have self-belief in yourself, you feel like you can do just about anything, that the sky's the limit. During these wonderful moments you don't fear the race. It's like the fear of losing is completely nonexistent when you're believing in yourself. Everyone falters in their own self-belief, but what makes you strong is believing you are worth it. (What are you worth? That's for you to figure out!)
3. Positive Attitude
You are not going to be able to do everything. By focusing on your strengths, your physical fitness, and your self-belief, you gain confidence and inspiration; you create your own positive attitude.
4. Motivation
Motivation can be strengthed many ways. Think of the last time you failed (in anything). That feeling can provide the motivation to keep going, keep pushing, keep practicing and keep making yourself better. Keep building that mental toughness. A time of success can also provide motivation to reclaim that winning feeling. For me, I'm motivated by many people and things. I'm motivated by my sister, Julie Patterson, who got me into the sport. I'm motivated by my coach, Dan Szajta, who continues to shine and grow in his own triathlon career. I'm motivated by the simplest of things. I'm motivated by continuously wanting to improve myself. I'm motivated by so many things (maybe that should be my next blog)! Motivation must come from within and the intensity of your motivation is determined by how badly you want to perform well. If you have motivation, you have mental toughness.
5. Focus
The ability to focus in the face of distractions or unexpected circumstances says a lot about your mental toughness. The mentally tough don't avoid situations, but instead, address them right away. For example, my first 40 miles of B2B. I was hurting real bad, the wind was nearly blowing me off the bike, my heart rate was through the roof and every time I saw an official, I thought about withdrawing from the race and taking the DNF. At mile 40, that was my time I had to hunker down and focus. I just kept reminding myself of the things that had gotten me to this point, the things on this list. I had to focus on my breaths. I had to focus on my legs and the pedaling. I had to focus on slowing my heart rate while still pounding my legs. Focusing on the things I could control got me to that finish line (and got me to negative split the back half of my bike).
6. Resiliency
The ability to bounce back from adversity, pain or a disappointing performance says a lot about mental toughness. The mentally tough can realize and admit a mistake, understand a missed opportunity, learn from it and move on to focus on a goal ahead. The mentally tough remain optimistic and have a positive attitude (#3) when something bad happens. For me, that something bad was my IT band injury. I realized and admitted that I pushed myself too hard, too fast, and got injured. Because of this, I missed out on my first season as an Olympic and half distance triathlete, but was an awesome Olympic and half distance aquabiker. With the help of my coach, I am learning from my actions of pushing too hard, and am in PT, focusing on cautiously entering the running world again in the new year. I am focusing on the two (or 3) half distance triathlons I will be competing in 2016.
7. Open-Mindedness/Flexibility
Mentally tough people are flexible and are always adapting. The mentally tough are willing to listen and take feedback knowing that's where real changes take place. The mentally tough know that fear of change if paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. Only when the mentally tough embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you're going to recognize the opportunities that change creates. You're setting yourself us to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I accepted change earlier this year by accepting Dan to be my coach. His methods are the exact opposite of my previous training and that presented a scary thought to me. Frustrations and hostility are two words to describe the first two months. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, it was just my lack of open-mindedness and ability to accept change. My mind is now open and willing to accept change as I have seen the good that has come from my huge coach change.
So, mental toughness is not an innate trait. You have to want to be tough. You have to want it. Now, what you want can be totally different from the athlete next to you wants. A good friend of mine and new teammate, Meghan, is very mentally tough and I'm motivated by her. Having only started running a year ago, she has run two full marathons and has signed up for Ironman Lake Placid in 2016. Now, her goals and my goals are very different, but it doesn't make either of us any less of an athlete or have any less mental toughness than each other. So, how much mental toughness do you have?
Mental toughness is not a trait we are born with, it is an acquired trait. Athletes learn how to be mentally tough through everyday workouts and the big games, matches or races that we spend the whole season preparing for. Athletes expect to be challenged many times in their journey forward to reach their goal which is why mental toughness is vital in any athletes journey. The more you learn, the more mental toughness you gain. The more mental toughness you have, the better off you are when your A race comes around the corner. I've spent a lot of time researching mental toughness, as well as having personal experiences of the concept of mental toughness; after all, the title of my blog, is my mental toughness in a short phrase. So, what has my research and my personal experiences taught me about this oh so important trait that athletes continue to learn about? Well, I shall
tell you.
1. Physical Fitness
For me, this is a no brainer. If I step foot into transition at 5:00a.m, having only trained 10 hours a week for 3 weeks prior to my biggest race of the season, I'm going to be an emotional wreck. I will have doubts and there will be nothing that I can do to change my outcome. Once I get doubts, there is not much I can do except pray. However, there is not much I can do if I am undertrained and underprepared. At this point, I am mentally weak. Thus, why I believe physical fitness is foremost trait in my mental toughness. I know this scenario will not happen because of my coach and my own stubbornness and willingness to compete and be a better athlete. Physical fitness and having a chance to challenge your body and mind before your A race is key to building that mental toughness.
2. Self-Belief
I can follow my workouts to a tee, I can put up solid outputs, great paces and zones, but if I don't believe in myself, then it's game over. When you have self-belief in yourself, you feel like you can do just about anything, that the sky's the limit. During these wonderful moments you don't fear the race. It's like the fear of losing is completely nonexistent when you're believing in yourself. Everyone falters in their own self-belief, but what makes you strong is believing you are worth it. (What are you worth? That's for you to figure out!) 3. Positive Attitude
You are not going to be able to do everything. By focusing on your strengths, your physical fitness, and your self-belief, you gain confidence and inspiration; you create your own positive attitude.
4. Motivation
Motivation can be strengthed many ways. Think of the last time you failed (in anything). That feeling can provide the motivation to keep going, keep pushing, keep practicing and keep making yourself better. Keep building that mental toughness. A time of success can also provide motivation to reclaim that winning feeling. For me, I'm motivated by many people and things. I'm motivated by my sister, Julie Patterson, who got me into the sport. I'm motivated by my coach, Dan Szajta, who continues to shine and grow in his own triathlon career. I'm motivated by the simplest of things. I'm motivated by continuously wanting to improve myself. I'm motivated by so many things (maybe that should be my next blog)! Motivation must come from within and the intensity of your motivation is determined by how badly you want to perform well. If you have motivation, you have mental toughness.
5. Focus
The ability to focus in the face of distractions or unexpected circumstances says a lot about your mental toughness. The mentally tough don't avoid situations, but instead, address them right away. For example, my first 40 miles of B2B. I was hurting real bad, the wind was nearly blowing me off the bike, my heart rate was through the roof and every time I saw an official, I thought about withdrawing from the race and taking the DNF. At mile 40, that was my time I had to hunker down and focus. I just kept reminding myself of the things that had gotten me to this point, the things on this list. I had to focus on my breaths. I had to focus on my legs and the pedaling. I had to focus on slowing my heart rate while still pounding my legs. Focusing on the things I could control got me to that finish line (and got me to negative split the back half of my bike). 6. Resiliency
The ability to bounce back from adversity, pain or a disappointing performance says a lot about mental toughness. The mentally tough can realize and admit a mistake, understand a missed opportunity, learn from it and move on to focus on a goal ahead. The mentally tough remain optimistic and have a positive attitude (#3) when something bad happens. For me, that something bad was my IT band injury. I realized and admitted that I pushed myself too hard, too fast, and got injured. Because of this, I missed out on my first season as an Olympic and half distance triathlete, but was an awesome Olympic and half distance aquabiker. With the help of my coach, I am learning from my actions of pushing too hard, and am in PT, focusing on cautiously entering the running world again in the new year. I am focusing on the two (or 3) half distance triathlons I will be competing in 2016.
7. Open-Mindedness/Flexibility
Mentally tough people are flexible and are always adapting. The mentally tough are willing to listen and take feedback knowing that's where real changes take place. The mentally tough know that fear of change if paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. Only when the mentally tough embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you're going to recognize the opportunities that change creates. You're setting yourself us to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I accepted change earlier this year by accepting Dan to be my coach. His methods are the exact opposite of my previous training and that presented a scary thought to me. Frustrations and hostility are two words to describe the first two months. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, it was just my lack of open-mindedness and ability to accept change. My mind is now open and willing to accept change as I have seen the good that has come from my huge coach change.So, mental toughness is not an innate trait. You have to want to be tough. You have to want it. Now, what you want can be totally different from the athlete next to you wants. A good friend of mine and new teammate, Meghan, is very mentally tough and I'm motivated by her. Having only started running a year ago, she has run two full marathons and has signed up for Ironman Lake Placid in 2016. Now, her goals and my goals are very different, but it doesn't make either of us any less of an athlete or have any less mental toughness than each other. So, how much mental toughness do you have?
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Break-Ups vs. Hibernation
Most of us have been there at one time or another. You just got dumped. Moving on isn't always pretty.
Stage 1: Sad
Sometimes you can see a break-up coming and there is nothing you can do about it except wait for impact. That's how this hibernation came. I knew it was inevitable and no matter how much I put up a fight to try and stop it, there was nothing I could do.
1. You go through your everyday routine, but realize something is missing:
2. Your friends call to check up on you and you answer the phone from your built up pillow fort in bed like:
1. You go through your everyday routine, but realize something is missing:
3. Whenever anyone asks what your plans are for the night you're like:
Stage 2: Bargaining
In the first few days of the breakup, you bargain-- you try to win that person back. For me, I sent e-mails and texts to Dan, bargaining, telling him how much this sucks and how I don't want to do it.
Stage 3: Anger
Then comes anger. There is nothing you can do to change what has happened, so you get angry. You either curl up in bed, cry, and eat lots of ice cream AND/OR you get angry but every little thing around you. For me...both.
1. You check Strava and see that all your non-hibernation friends are going on rides and runs, and you're like:
2. Day three, and you realize you still have 18 days left of this:
Stage 4: Acceptance
You know, some relationships aren't meant to last forever. Sometimes you need to grow, learn and heal before a new one begins. It may hurt, but in the end, it's probably for the best.
Yes, I may still have one week of hibernation left, but I am going to enjoy my 11 hours of sleep a night. I am going to enjoy my endless tub of ice cream. I am going to enjoy healing my body from last season and prepare for next season. And when that time comes, I will embrace triathlon with open arms!
Saturday, November 7, 2015
VMST Annual Swim Meet
I remember this meet last year. It was held at the NOVA pool and I went to cheer on my friends but ended up deck entering 6 events and bought goggles and a swimsuit 30 minutes before my first event. Last year was done in typical Margaret fashion of signing up last minute, this year I decided to be ahead of the game. When registration opened months ago, I signed up the first day. Now, last year was SCY and this year was SCM, something I haven't done in nearly 6 years, so I had no expectations of how I would do. That's the fun of masters swimming, though. It doesn't matter your age, where you are in life, your speed or ability. Masters swimming is go with the flow and do what you can and are able.
Coming off of Halloween last week, this week was filled with a lot of sleep, two swim practices and three runs...I wasn't fully prepared, but it's masters. This morning I woke up and I felt awful, everything hurt. After nearly two hours in the car, I was in the pool doing an extended warmup:
900 easy loosen swim
6x75 K/D/S w/:15R
6x50 Pace
12x25 12.5fast/12.5 easy
200 Float
800 Free (Record: 12:38.85, Time: 10:16.34)
Denise came up to me when warming up and told me the good news. "You'll break the record." How do you know I'll break it? "Because it's so slow." She was right, it was really slow and it hurt like hell, but I broke the record by a lot, as seen. When swimming I was remembering the last time I swam the 1000...my senior year of college. It was awful. I felt my breakfast coming up around the 700yard mark and immediately following finishing, I ran to the bathroom and up it came. Today, at the 600meter mark, I felt it, but kept it down. My back was cramping up from all the flip turns and my legs were cramping, but I still pulled out a good time...I think. Converted time to yards: 9:15.26
50 Free (Record: 28.78, Time: 28.57)
I looked at the program and saw I actually had competition for the 50. If you don't know age groups in swimming, there aren't many in the 18-24 age range, so this was exciting that I had a 23 year old with an entry time faster than mine. What can I say about the 50? I had a good start, I had a solid flip. Out touched her, so a good finish. Converted time to yards: 25.73
200 Free (Record from 1987: 2:21.12, Time: 2:20.69)
Ever since high school this race has been such a mental game for me. I started with a 2:10, worked my way down to a 2:00.00 every race from senior of high school to halfway through senior year of college. At least I'm good at staying consistent. Senior year of college at conferences, I was able to break that awful 2 minute mark. I didn't just break it, I destroyed it by 4 seconds on my first try. That's what hard work, a good taper, and years of crying from seeing 2:00.00 can do to a swimmer....motivate someone so much to push through the worst pain they have ever felt to finish the race hard. So today, there was no music, there was no self-motivating pep talk, it was just me and the water. Last year when I swam this, I went a 2:12 SCY...let's talk about awful. Goal for today, beat that and beat the close record. Per usual, this race kicked my ass and hurt so bad. My legs were cramping, my arms were sore but I kept kicking and touched to an awful time, but a time good enough to beat the 1987 record by almost one second. Hey, I'll take it. Converted time to yards: 2:06.74
400 Free (Record: 5:23.97, Time: 5:02.79)
After my 200, I floated down the cool down lane and assessed the pain. I was ready to scratch from the 400, call it a day and go home to bed. Then I remembered B2B and the first 40 miles. That awful pain, the temptation to DNF and just call it quits. I took a deep breath, figured I had a lot of time before it to continue cooling down and went for it. Denise told me it wouldn't be a problem to break the record, as my 400 split in the 800 was a 5:08. Okay, swimming the 400 free. Dove in and opposed to my typical 50 sprint in all races, I tried a more relaxed approach, all based on how awful I felt. I succeeded in having a slower first 200 than in my 800, which probably wasn't ideal. I saw Denise on the side jumping up and down and giving me signals to go faster. I didn't think I was going that slow, but when I touched the wall, I realized she has been trying to get me to break 5:00.00. If only I would've taken it out the speed of my 800, I would've had it. Nevertheless, broke the record by 21.18. Converted time to yards: 4:32.78
Final Thoughts
For someone who had no expectations or goals in mind going into this meet, I am very proud of myself. Sure, some of the times weren't great, but I am at the end of my season, my mind and body were both shot, but I am the new record holder of four events...two of which by huge margins. I'm proud of how the season wrapped up and am looking forward to hibernation. Ask me in four days if that is still true and I guarantee my answer will be different, but as of right now, I need sleep and recovery from what my body endured that past several months. I'm happy. I'm proud of what I've accomplished--highs and lows. I learned a lot. Everything from this season will help me to be better for next season. Now to bed I go!
Sunday, November 1, 2015
A Letter to My Coach
Dear Coach,
I wanted to say thank you. I wanted to say thank you because a lot of times my gratitude for what you do is lost behind the bitterness of resting and hibernation, the exhaustion of your workouts and my own stubbornness. So, I'm thanking you although you've only been my coach for a few months. I'm sure that being my friend and training partner prepared you for what you were taking on when you kept hinting I should become your athlete...well, I at least hope it did! I wanted to say thank you for pushing me and giving me that tough love I need in order to get it through my stubborn head that you actually do know what is right for me.
I've always been stubborn, hard headed and tend to over push myself. Since I was a competitive year round swimmer at age eight, I remember always striving to be better, to be the best I could be. Not to mention my two older siblings were incredible athletes, and still are! Being the youngest behind a D1 Water Polo All American athlete and a professional triathlete who was the only walk on to the UR XC team was a little intimidating, but it made me the athlete I am today. I strive to have fun, train hard and be competitive in all that I do and I continue to do all three of those in my athletic career now. I push hard because I want to be the best I can be, and I'm learning, from you, that pushing too hard can be detrimental to my health and cause injuries (as we have seen this season). But it's hard. I'm not scared to admit that. Training and competing has been my life for such a long time that when I take breaks, I get lost in who I am, what I'm supposed to do and I can't sleep.
I think the biggest definer of who I am as a person is being a Christian athlete. Those two words, together or alone, define me to a huge extent. For you though, I am going to focus on the word athlete. As said before I push hard and I'm stubborn, but I see it as being determined and having passion for everything I do. I wouldn't have made it through 4 years of high school swimming and 4 years of collegiate swimming if I didn't have the passion for the sport. I was determined, and so I would be peppy and awake for 5:30am practice, I'd put in extra work and although I was a middle distance swimmer, I knew I needed the endurance so I'd swim with the distance swimmers most days of the week. I fought my coach for what I thought and knew I needed and he'd push back. It was a push and pull relationship but with figuring it out my senior year, I was able to have the best performances of my life. When my college career ended, I knew swimming would continue with me, however, I needed a new challenge to put my efforts towards and having only competed in 6 sprint triathlons I thought I'd give it a go, again.
Now my cycling career certainly wasn't great like my swimming career. I hated being on a bike when I was younger and my parents would have to bribe me with mini marshmallows to keep riding when we went on family rides. By being inspired by my sister, I finally bought a road bike and began going on long rides with my dad on the weekends and as many rides as I could fit in during the days while in high school and college. My dad and I would always ride hills, we'd seek them out in the flat land of Ohio, and we'd ride, I grew to love them and am pretty awesome at them. Cycling came easy but since the purchase of Zeke Jr. and training with you, I'm 2mph faster on the bike...which brings me to the next thing you're teaching me.
I've always been a numbers and speed kind of gal. I want to run consistent mile paces, I want to bike consistent speeds, and I know I can swim a consistent time in any sort of distance, but you are all about heart rate. You get angry or annoyed when I submit a workout where my heart rate is two zones above what it needs to be. For someone who has never trained in her life with a heart rate monitor until I started training with you, I'm frustrated and am trying! Give me time, I'll figure it out, I always do! But I would love for you to come plod next to me, teach me how slow you want me to go!
Thank you for always responding quickly to my athlete notes, whether be me ranting about something, me being sassy with you, or my knowledge that I didn't do the workout right (or when I did do it right!), you always say something.
Thank you for always getting me pumped up and calming my nerves for races. I think being a friend helps in that arena, as well, but this season has been rocky but you know exactly what to say to get me pumped and calm me down. You know I overthink things, and you do awesome in making it simple.
Thank you for giving me tough love but finding the supportive balance. Thank you for telling me you're proud of me and giving me a hug after a race, fist bumping or high-fiving me after a long ride. Although I need to be pushed, I also need support, and you provide that.
Thank you for only making fun of me a little bit when I have hundreds of stupid questions, that I should probably know the answer to, regarding triathlon.
Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my training partner and letting me come on rides with all the guys, makes me feel like a stud(ette) and pushes me in a great way.
Thank you for putting up with me. I haven't made it easy on you the last two months, but I wanted to make sure you had the best interest for me and my triathlon career. I have now learned that you do.
So, thank you Dan, for pestering me for the last several months to have you be my coach. I'm glad I chose you, because I need someone who knows me and can put up with my little bit of crazy, and you certainly do.
I wanted to say thank you. I wanted to say thank you because a lot of times my gratitude for what you do is lost behind the bitterness of resting and hibernation, the exhaustion of your workouts and my own stubbornness. So, I'm thanking you although you've only been my coach for a few months. I'm sure that being my friend and training partner prepared you for what you were taking on when you kept hinting I should become your athlete...well, I at least hope it did! I wanted to say thank you for pushing me and giving me that tough love I need in order to get it through my stubborn head that you actually do know what is right for me.
I've always been stubborn, hard headed and tend to over push myself. Since I was a competitive year round swimmer at age eight, I remember always striving to be better, to be the best I could be. Not to mention my two older siblings were incredible athletes, and still are! Being the youngest behind a D1 Water Polo All American athlete and a professional triathlete who was the only walk on to the UR XC team was a little intimidating, but it made me the athlete I am today. I strive to have fun, train hard and be competitive in all that I do and I continue to do all three of those in my athletic career now. I push hard because I want to be the best I can be, and I'm learning, from you, that pushing too hard can be detrimental to my health and cause injuries (as we have seen this season). But it's hard. I'm not scared to admit that. Training and competing has been my life for such a long time that when I take breaks, I get lost in who I am, what I'm supposed to do and I can't sleep.
I think the biggest definer of who I am as a person is being a Christian athlete. Those two words, together or alone, define me to a huge extent. For you though, I am going to focus on the word athlete. As said before I push hard and I'm stubborn, but I see it as being determined and having passion for everything I do. I wouldn't have made it through 4 years of high school swimming and 4 years of collegiate swimming if I didn't have the passion for the sport. I was determined, and so I would be peppy and awake for 5:30am practice, I'd put in extra work and although I was a middle distance swimmer, I knew I needed the endurance so I'd swim with the distance swimmers most days of the week. I fought my coach for what I thought and knew I needed and he'd push back. It was a push and pull relationship but with figuring it out my senior year, I was able to have the best performances of my life. When my college career ended, I knew swimming would continue with me, however, I needed a new challenge to put my efforts towards and having only competed in 6 sprint triathlons I thought I'd give it a go, again.
Now my cycling career certainly wasn't great like my swimming career. I hated being on a bike when I was younger and my parents would have to bribe me with mini marshmallows to keep riding when we went on family rides. By being inspired by my sister, I finally bought a road bike and began going on long rides with my dad on the weekends and as many rides as I could fit in during the days while in high school and college. My dad and I would always ride hills, we'd seek them out in the flat land of Ohio, and we'd ride, I grew to love them and am pretty awesome at them. Cycling came easy but since the purchase of Zeke Jr. and training with you, I'm 2mph faster on the bike...which brings me to the next thing you're teaching me.
I've always been a numbers and speed kind of gal. I want to run consistent mile paces, I want to bike consistent speeds, and I know I can swim a consistent time in any sort of distance, but you are all about heart rate. You get angry or annoyed when I submit a workout where my heart rate is two zones above what it needs to be. For someone who has never trained in her life with a heart rate monitor until I started training with you, I'm frustrated and am trying! Give me time, I'll figure it out, I always do! But I would love for you to come plod next to me, teach me how slow you want me to go!
Thank you for always responding quickly to my athlete notes, whether be me ranting about something, me being sassy with you, or my knowledge that I didn't do the workout right (or when I did do it right!), you always say something.
Thank you for always getting me pumped up and calming my nerves for races. I think being a friend helps in that arena, as well, but this season has been rocky but you know exactly what to say to get me pumped and calm me down. You know I overthink things, and you do awesome in making it simple.
Thank you for giving me tough love but finding the supportive balance. Thank you for telling me you're proud of me and giving me a hug after a race, fist bumping or high-fiving me after a long ride. Although I need to be pushed, I also need support, and you provide that.
Thank you for only making fun of me a little bit when I have hundreds of stupid questions, that I should probably know the answer to, regarding triathlon.
Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my training partner and letting me come on rides with all the guys, makes me feel like a stud(ette) and pushes me in a great way.
Thank you for putting up with me. I haven't made it easy on you the last two months, but I wanted to make sure you had the best interest for me and my triathlon career. I have now learned that you do.
So, thank you Dan, for pestering me for the last several months to have you be my coach. I'm glad I chose you, because I need someone who knows me and can put up with my little bit of crazy, and you certainly do.
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